Thursday, October 15, 2015

Hold up

It has been one year and a half since I left Germany. Time flew by so fast. By next Monday, my 4th semester in Uniten will begin. It was hard coming back from Germany. I feel estranged from other people. All of that shame, depression and misery building up in myself. I was really depressed back then. I was too ashamed to meet people and talk about my failure. But after a while, somehow I feel better and gained confidece to start all over again. Time heals. Sure it wasn't easy but hey, time is going to move forward and I can't stay in the same place forever ain't I.

After that I started my study in Uniten. It was kinda awkward I guess. 24 year old guy starting his first degree semester. My other classmates are around 19 and 20. But it wasn't that bad. I can get along with them just fine. Life in Uniten is okay so far, I think. Well at least I think I'm doing decent in my study. I just got my result two days ago. Well to be honest I'm a little disappointed since I didn't get 4 flat but at least it was close enough to 4. Not bad for a dropout heh.

I wish I can get another chance at scholarship because I don't want to burden my father. He works hard to feed my family. It saddens me that he still needs to work at the age of 56. My failure only exacerbate the situation. I'm really sorry dad. If only I didnt failed back then at least u can rest at home now :(

I came close last semester to secure a scholarship. I managed to go into the final interview for Shell scholarship. But ultimately, I wasn't chosen as one of the few scholarship recipient. Such is my life. Lots and lots of disappointment. To lose out when it was within my reach, mannn. It sucks for sure. I was really hoping back then for that scholarship but oh well. Life goes on as usual.

I admit, I'm jealous at my friends who have already been working while I'm stuck here finishing my study. Even a good result wouldn't soothe my feelings.  But someday I hope there will be light at the end of this tunnel. Hopefully good things will come to me. InshaAllah.

''Till 3005, hold up"

Saturday, February 22, 2014

dangling on a string



“Things usually work out in the end."
"What if they don't?"
"That just means you haven't come to the end yet.” 

Hopefully.

Friday, June 28, 2013

Bereaved




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One of the worst feelings is to not be with your loved one during his/her last moment.

If once is already heartbreaking, imagine how twice would be ?

I miss you, nenek. It has been almost two months since u passed away.

"Setiap kejadian ada hikmahnya"

Somehow I felt like going back to Malaysia last February and only God knows how thankful  I am for that decision. I thank God, I spent my last holiday taking care of you in hospital. Perhaps, God loves you more and that's why He decided it's time for you to go. You've been sick since I further my studies. Thanks for filling the void left by my mom albeit temporarily.

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